My baby's birth .... 35 years ago!
This morning about an hour ago I awoke and felt my fluid body waking up! Moving me in yet again a very different way and this time opening my attention to my emotional state. Bringing my awareness to clearing the residue of anger deep within me, that blockage which always seemed to prevent me from loving freely, passionately, with abandon. What was it? Why? When all I have ever known is that I love the world and all that lives on it, and that I love to laugh, to give, to share so freely. This has been a thorn in my side for years, not a single one of the magical forms or methods of healing I have learned have helped me ease this burden so far, until this very morning!
I started to put my fingers on individual points on my body, where pain seemed to be connected: just above my right collarbone, middle solar plexus and right hip. The pressure from my fingers triggered off little stretches under the skin, in the fascia, to finally release bigger stretches from the whole right side of my body without a glitch anywhere giving me a delicious elastic "cling-film effect"!
The right side where my liver resides and where anger is stored. I asked my various Spirit friends/teachers/mothers to guide and help me clear this away from me, and I instantly saw and felt I was surrounded by vertical red and white barriers all around me, as if I had been barricaded in. Why, how did this happen? I guess that this goes way back when the little happy go lucky me had suffered so many knocks she had unconsciously created a protection barrier around herself in order to not get affected or hurt.
Tears were running from my eyes my mouth filled with saliva, my whole face stretched simultaneously as my hands and arms did in a spasm like stretch, held into eternity it seemed, to end into a whole body breath of release as I saw, in my mind's eye, the red and white barriers tumble down around me and being dragged away from me by an invisible force till they vanished.
My body felt as if it was lying on wet rock and bathing under a beautiful waterfall with golden light as though being cleansed and it suddenly dawned on me that 35 years ago I was lying with legs bound in stirrups waiting for the birth of my baby. Waiting for three days, as he proceeded his downward journey nearly two months early! He couldn't wait to join us!
This morning was like a re-birth for me as suddenly I felt freed from the shackles I had unconsciously built around me, preventing me from loving fully, like a butterfly emerging from its chrysalis at long last free to be really really TRUE to myself! Free and loving as my spirit is designed to be!
How symbolic, it dawned on me that this coincided with my baby's birth .... 35 years ago!